Theories
by blue paper hearts
Summary: Obi-Wan and Siri have a little discussion all because of that dreaded question-what if?  ObiXSiri


**Summary!** Obi-Wan and Siri are forced to think about some things because of one question—what if?

**Note!** This has been on my flash drive forever and I finally decided to put it up here. Hope you all enjoy it! It randomly entered my mind, as most ideas tend to do.

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Jedi Knight Siri Tachi sat on the couch in her apartment, feeling for the first time in a while, alone. Her apprentice was off training, and she would knew it would be a minimal of several hours before she saw the padawan again.

Unable to stop her thoughts, Siri found the occasional 'what if' question coming to the surface.

After about the third 'what if', the dreaded question became more and more frequent, with one bubbling to the surface just as another was finally exiting her mind. In the long run, Siri wasn't sure which was worse—having to endure all of these damned 'what if' theories, or the fact that every last one of them all included another Jedi Knight.

One that she knew very well both on work and personal levels.

One with reddish-blonde hair, perfectly sculpted features, and a smile far too charming to be real.

One with unmistakable blue-grey eyes that, despite a thousand attempts, Siri could never forget.

_Damn it, Obi-Wan,_ Siri thought, inwardly cursing at her close friend. _Why in Corellian hell do you always decide to plague _my _and _only_ my mind?_

As if on queue, Siri noted an all to familiar presence outside her apartment door the exact moment that strand of thoughts finished. For a brief second, Siri's heart stopped as she waited in anticipation for the persons knock to come.

It never did.

Leaping to her feet, Siri sprinted from the couch to the door, opening it with her visitor only a few feet away. She wanted to ask why they hadn't knocked, why they had tried to walk away. These words did not slip out of her mouth, however. Rather, Siri stood there, her eyes gazing into the back of her visitor, waiting for him to finally notice her presnce. It was only a heartbeat later that the person turned back, smiling softly at the blonde Jedi Knight.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you," Obi-Wan said, taking several steps back towards Siri. His voice was soft, warm, and richly smooth, making Siri hate him at that one instant for not knowing just how much that voice affected her. "I just heard you had gotten back, and thought I'd come see you when I actually had time on my hands. But you seemed a bit preoccupied with your thoughts, and probably still are, so I can just come back lat—"

"No," Siri said firmly, while gently grabbing his wrist and tugging him into her apartment. "Now is fine. I need a distraction from my thoughts, actually."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow at the girl, tipping his head to the side ever so gently. "Come now, they can't be that bad."

"Oh they are," Siri replied with a grin, before her features fell, and she let out a soft sigh.. "My mind was plagued with the worst question of all—the dreaded what if."

Obi-Wan visibly paled before looking down, and muttering a soft, "Oh."

"Yeah, oh," Siri said with a grimace on her features. Both Knights were silent for several moments, both unsure of what to say.

"Siri, I think—" Obi-Wan began, but stopped when Siri placed a slender finger on his lips.

"Don't make this hard, Obi-Wan. Please, for me," she said quietly, removing her finger and gazing at the suddenly interesting ground. Unable to stop himself, Obi-Wan sighed, pulling Siri into a gentle, yet fierce, hug.

For a moment, the two friends stood there, basking in each others presence, at their close proximity, and remembering the love they had once felt for each other.

_No,_ Siri told herself strictly, _I still love him. Beneath this façade and serious of lies we have to tell everyone—and each other._

"Obi-Wan?" Siri found herself asking, looking up at the Jedi Knight whose arms she was a little to content in. He looked down at her, his features gentle, yet his perfectly colored eyes waiting patiently for her question. Before she could stop herself, the words slipped off of her tongue, "Do you still love me?"

The silence that followed was a bit uncomfortable, to say the least. Obi-Wan turned his head to stare out the window of her bedroom—Siri wasn't too sure when they had managed to get into her bedroom, but she was certain that when Obi-Wan had lead her here, his intentions had been strictly along the line of finding privacy so there would be no explanation, should her padawan come home and find them—and Siri found herself biting her lip, regretting the question.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mea—" This time it was Obi-Wan's finger that silenced her, while he continued to stare silently out the window. Glaring at him, Siri shoved his hand away with both of hers, once more speaking, though this time far more forcefully, "Don't silence me, Kenobi, I think I have a right to apologize. Now, I didn't—"

Once more, Siri fell silent because of Obi-Wan. This time, however, it was his gaze that had silenced her, not his finger. His normally proud blue eyes were now sad and distant, almost haunted.

"Of course I still love you," Obi-Wan said, his voice barely above a whisper. "And I always will. But we promised that we would bury these feelings long ago. Bringing them up again is definitely not good."

Siri was unsure whether she was upset at the truth in his words, or relieved that he still loved her. On the surface, she was troubled by the words, but deep down, she knew she felt nothing but pure relief.

"I know," she said quietly, gazing up at Obi-Wan. "I just wish things were different—all the time."

"So do I," Obi-Wan said in a gentle murmur, kissing Siri's forehead gently before continuing. "But this is how things are, and we cannot change them. We take our orders and do as we must and that is all we can do."

"I know. I still wish things were different. Sometimes I wish I had never become a Jedi—then at least we could be together."

"That may be true," Obi-Wan admitted slowly, carefully choosing his words. "But I prefer to think of it like this—if neither of us had decided to become a Jedi, then the chances of ever meeting were extremely slim. We probably wouldn't have met. I know it's depressing, but I think I would always choose not be able to be with you and know you, rather than risk never meeting you."

"I hate your logic," Siri said, her tone far different than the conversation. Obi-Wan smiled—_No,_ Siri told herself, _that's definitely a grin_—taking her hands in his.

"Really now? And here I was convinced you loved everything about me."

Siri snorted playfully, before coming to the safe conclusion that teasing would be a far better turn in this conversation. "Yeah, right. I never told you such a thing, now did I?"

"You might have mentioned it before…"

"Don't get any smart ideas, Kenobi."

"So, what you're saying, Jedi Knight Tachi, is don't go along with any logical ideas, but rather the illogical ones?"

"I hate those too."

"Then it seems we're at a loss, now aren't we?"

"Maybe. Your logical thoughts are just as disastrous as your illogical."

"Yours aren't perfect either."

"They're better than yours."

"I doubt that."

"They are and you know it Kenobi!"

"Maybe we should settle this the right way. The proper way."

"The Jedi way?"

"Yeah, that too I guess."

"You're going to get your ass kicked. You do realize this, right?"

"Actually, I doubt it."

"Let's go. You and me. Right now."

"Sparring it is then."

"Of course, what else?"

"I don't know. I had a few other ideas. I'll tell you them later though, so you can have just as many what if questions as me."

"Not funny, Obi-Wan."

"I wasn't trying to be, Siri."

Bickering could be heard as the two Jedi Knights headed towards the training rooms, though most ignored it. It was a reunion for Siri and Obi-Wan—it was best to just give them their peace for the moment.

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